there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
