I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
bring money and cleavage
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
