Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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