my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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