What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize