i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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