You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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