You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
