he wants to bone in the snuggie
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
