There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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