dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
