I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The maid of honor just puked.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
