It's Friday. Sex?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
