Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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