It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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