I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
