what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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