So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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