you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize