I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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