oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
