We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She told me I should be a condom model.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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