There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
