I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
