Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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