This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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