her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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