"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
