we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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