like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
