I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
