At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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