Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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