The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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