I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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