End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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