Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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