This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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