i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
