Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
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