i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
