I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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