I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
