So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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