you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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