U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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