So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
