You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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