This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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