Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
