I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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