Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
