If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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