You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My cat gives me a boner
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
