He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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