Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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