Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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