it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
