i think my mom watched the whole time
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
